Don't Say You Will .. Unless You Will (Theoretically)

Ok so while at work I was thinking, I haven't posted in my blog since yesterday so I might as well post a little something. LOL

Well it's hard to just pull a post out of thin air so I turned to my good friend Yeezy (808's && Heartbreak to be exact) for some inspiration. I'm sitting here boppin to Say You Will and my mind got to thinking about the lyrics. The shit he's talking about is real life shit, like have you been in a situation like that?? Ok this isn't necessarily my interpretation of the song because I have many, however, this is where my thought process took me.

Aight so theoretically, you have this person in your life that has this hold on you like, you love to hate em and hate to love em. You try your hardest to let them go but for some reason you can't because they always do something to pull you back, a random text/phone call, cameo appearance in your world, WHATEVER! No matter WHAT they do or say you have them on your mind constantly. Like seriously what is the purpose of this person? They're the sweetest drug but come with sucky ass side effects. They're never consistently in your life they fade in and out, but their presence is always there. When they aren't in your life you miss them, always wondering what they're up to, wishing that you were cool, but when they're there you're always going through the most like, omg why am I doing this to myself ... AGAIN!! SMH doesn't make any sense!! And it's not like they can come in your life and then go, naa they have to do damage!! You have these weird unexplainable feelings for them, you love them, but then again you don't, then you aren't sure if you do or not. Whatever those feelings are it seems like when you're around this person the feelings consume you and can't get enough of them! Ok so forget all of that you brush it off. Cool.

As time goes by you start putting more thought into it like, damn this person is really close to me and we've been kickin' it for years now, we might as well get together!! And of course, they're on a completely different agenda, with different people in and out of their life, same with you, as soon as they're available they want you, but you're not so you can't pursue it. That's the worst. ::Sigh:: so more time passes and you're both single, finally and you think that you're going to get together they say that you are. They pump your head up and got you thinking its really about to happen this time!! But it doesn't happen, same bullshit, someone has came in their life and you have been put on hold once again (-_-) so you're at a loss right now. Hopes were as high as all of the sky scrapers in NY and your feelings were as strong as the year is long and you've been bamboozled, tricked, lied to, played, heartbroken.. again!

The thing that really racks my brain about this is what do they get out of that? Do they go into the situation with full intentions of being with you but then "shit happens" and things are once again postponed, or was it all a game and they wanted to see if you would go for it, or is it simply because it isn't meant to be? But wait, it feels so good to be with them. Whenever you see them you're hearts all a flutter, you start blushing, and your eyes are all googley over them. They're so dreamy. How do you break yourself from these restraints? This is truly an example of being wrapped around someone's finger, and man does that suck!!

The only thing that's worse than a heart being broken is a heart being on hold, hoping maybe it'll be your turn to take a chance at loving this person. You know good and well that there are so many other fish in the sea, you fall in love with others, get wrapped up in relationships, serious ones, but yet and still there's that little tingling feeling in the back of your mind that longs for them. It's like a whirlwind effect, I wonder do they think of me like this? Do they feel this way about me? Millions of questions that are asked on the regular hoping that their answers are the same as yours. How do you fix a relationship that has been ruined countless times before it has even started?? How do you fix that? Forgiveness can only last for so long, they'll come around won't they?

I admit I still fantasize about you, about you, hey hey hey, don't say you will .. unless you will .

Why do the phone calls continue? Why do the hugs get longer, warmer, and more intimate? Why do those brown eyes pierce further into your soul? You've only been intimate once but you cherish the moment closely to your heart, lying in your bed hoping for one more night. And hoping for your chance.

Sick, sick individuals condone this behavior and it won't be tolerated over this way. I refuse to be strung along for a long and grueling lifetime with this person. I can't help but think, what would happen once you get together with this person? Is it everything that you've hoped for? Or is it nothing more than a complete catastrophe? I don't know!!

I guess the moral of the story is .. Don't say you will ..

SO dope. *

P.S. On a lighter note lol if you haven't seen this video yet you're missing out!! This is one of my favs!!

We eatin' ya'll purple haze mutha fucka, and we eatin ya'll cocaine rock smokers cause its a new rock coming to town purple rock cocaine and its not for sale, and it's taking all of you muthfuckin dope smokers to the moon!!! LMAO *Classic*